Those who've traveled in SE Asia know the deal with moto and tuk-tuk drivers, and touts and hawkers. They're at every corner, in front of every tourist attraction, crowded around the door of your bus as you step off, in your face while you're eating dinner. Sometimes you walk down a street and a successive chorus of "tuk-tuk?" precedes you, sometimes you are hollered at from across the road "Hey lady!". But sometimes they'll start by making eye contact and simply say hello. You, not wanting to be rude, say hello and if you're lucky you can walk by quickly enough. But more often than not they'll follow up with "How are you?" "Where you come from?" "How long you stay in ____?" and you answer politely as these are quite normal questions and random children will often ask you these. Then come the kickers: "What you do today/tomorrow?" or "Do you have plans today/tomorrow?" I always know it's coming but still for the sake of politeness I tell them the truth which is usually that I have no specific plans. Then they give their pitch for a marvelous and cheap moto tour. You are never able to say no once and have done with it. They will try to convince you. I even told a guy right off the bat today that I didn't have enough money and he tried three more times to convince me and even lowered his price before he finally left me alone. It's like they don't understand that maybe I don't want a fucking tour or maybe I actually can't afford one now even if I wanted to. They approach me unsolicited and seem to expect that I will be ever so grateful they did. They seem to believe they know what I want better than I do. I don't usually mind smiling and shaking my head or saying "no thank you" 100 times walking down a street as long as they don't engage me otherwise, but having to sit through the bullshit conversation, the friendliness that is just a ploy to sell you something really fucking pisses me off most of the time.
I know well enough that these moto drivers are not like the majority of the local people. I've had enough good clean conversations and interactions without a sales pitch to keep my head about me and not make irrational generalizations. My tuk-tuk driver in Siem Reap told me that he thought Koreans were impolite because when he is in the market area and calls out "tuk-tuk?" they don't even look at him. I explained that it can be really tiring and irritating to have to be polite to every driver that hollers at you. But I took the comment to heart and I've never been intentionally rude to hopeful drivers.
I have had, and maybe others have had similar, experiences in Korea where I want to ask a stranger on the street for directions. I may have a map or I may be able to stammer "_____ where please?" only to be frowned at and waved away or have a head shaken at me. I've had instances where I merely walk up to someone and am waved away before a word leaves my lips. It's vastly infuriating but all you can do is walk away and fume to yourself. Today in Dalat I had my book open to the map and I wanted to know which road to take to get back to the lake. All I had to do was point at the picture of the lake with its name in Vietnamese written on it. I approached a woman in her little restaurant and was immediately waved away. I was pissed off but I went across the street to a group of men playing a game and they helped me no problem. They didn't speak any English.
In Dalat there is this group called "Easy Riders" who are dudes with classy motos and excellent English who will take you around whatever sites you want or even on several-day tours. They all wear a coat with "Easy Riders" on the back. The true Easy Riders are in Dalat but others around Vietnam, especially in Hoi An and Danang areas, call themselves this. It just so happens that I traveled for five days from Hoi An to Dalat with one of these "fake" Easy Riders and it was really great. Like every other tourist city I get a handful to dozens of approaches a day from these guys and other drivers.
I was standing on a corner today, a few hours after the first directions incident, looking at my map to find a particular cafe. An Easy Rider (third one of the day by my count) came and stopped in front of me and made to begin speaking. I looked up, shook my head and walked away. It was mostly because I was trying to concentrate on the map and while he could have helped me I didn't want to get involved in the tour pitch song and dance. I'm not used to moto drivers offering help without making you sit through their spiel afterwards. He drove up again and asked me if he could help. So I told him what I was trying to find and he pointed out the way. Then he told me that what I'd just did was really not good, the waving him away. And I conceded that it was a bit rude and apologised. He then said to me "If you don't like me and my people, if you don't like Vietnamese people then you should go home." I was taken aback and explained it's not like that, that when someone comes up to me on a moto I expect that they want to sell me something and that I'd been approached by a few Easy Riders already today and that it can be annoying, apologised again. He said "No I don't want to sell the tour, we Vietnamese are very helping. If you ask us something we are helping but we don't like people like you." Trying to explain some more I told him about the rude lady earlier. He said it was because she didn't speak English (which doesn't excuse her I don't think) and I countered with the story of the men who did help me with no English. Apparently not listening to or not understanding me, the driver repeated "If you don't like Vietnamese people then go home because we don't want you around." Finally at breaking point I said "fine" and walked away. Just like with the rude convenience store owner in Daejeon I couldn't keep my grip and I burst into tears as I walked away.
I shouldn't even need to justify the fact that I don't dislike the Vietnamese. Even for all the frustrations I pour out about Korea and Korean social habits, at the end of the day I don't hate or dislike Koreans or any other group of people. How many of you non-Americans have said or thought to yourself that you would not like to live in the US, for example, because of the social culture and/or politics? No one calls you on it. I didn't even express any dislike of Vietnamese culture or social habits, only the business habits of the fucking moto drivers.
I feel like there's nothing I can do to avert experiences like that. The lesson here was that maybe I was a bit rude even if I didn't deserve the comments he made. I realised I'd done the same thing that the lady earlier had done. I hadn't given him the benefit of the doubt just like she didn't give me the chance to try to communicate. But I don't really believe that he wouldn't have tried to sell me a tour, and maybe the woman didn't really believe we could communicate without frustration or embarrassment.
I've cooled down about it now but it really pains me that someone is going around believing I'm a rude racist and maybe telling all his friends about it. What would you have done?
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